Welcome To The Darkside

Season 3 Episode 18: The Call

2009-08-29T18:42:00.000+01:00

"Jack, where are we going?"
"It's a surprise Ay08."
We were on the bus on the way to an undisclosed location.
"Come on Jack, tell me."
"No way, it's a secret. Just wait."
I grabbed her hand and grasp it. She smiled back at me and reciprocated.

"Jack, is that you?"
Who could this be that disturb my moment of tranquility? It is no other than
"Oh, hi Lin, how are you doing?"
I let go of Ay08. It is not because I felt shameful, it is just because I felt that it is better for Ay08 for people not to find out about us. Besides, Ay08 already has a boyfriend in Malaysia.
"Fine, fine. Say, aren't you supposed to meet Mi07 today?"
Ay08 then looked at me, like she deserves an explanation.
"Yeah, but I can't. I am showing a friend around. Do you by any chance know what is the important message that she wanted to tell me?"
"Hmm, I have no idea. Oh, here is my stop. I should go. Take care."
Lin then stepped out from the bus leaving Ay08 and me in a moment of awkward silence.

"So, what is this about Mi07?", Ay08 said sheepishly.
"It is nothing important. Nothing that I have not told you before. "
"You should go and meet Mi07 as she has something important to tell you. When are you supposed to see her?"
I just smiled at Ay08 and said
"Right now."
Ay08 just kept quiet, stunned by my answer.
I pressed the stop button and we alighted at the following stop.

"Come on Ay08, we need to walk a bit now."
I grabbed her hand and kept on walking.
"Where are you bringing me Jack?"
"To a dodgey alley so that we can make out," I said it with a straight face.
"Hey, you perv!"
She nudged my shoulder playfully and we both burst out laughing.

After 20 minutes of walking, we finally reached our destination.
"Taddaaa!" I said enthusiastically.
Ay08 just looks confused.
"Jack, what is this?", Ay08 said disappointingly.
"Oh, it's a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant."
"Yeahh, so you are telling me we took 2 buses and on top of that walked 20 minutes just to arrive at a KFC restaurant?"
"Relax, Ay08, do not be so angry. Look closer at the signboard ."
She then squint her eyes to inspect the signboard.
"It's Halal?", she said in an upward interval signifying it as an excited question.
"Yes, it is."

"But Jack, how did you find this place?"
"A friend told me. And well, you love KFC, so..."
"Jack, that is so sweet of you."
She then proceed to hug me. It feels so nice to be in the sweet embrace of Ay08. Feels like I am floating on cloud 9 right now.
"Come on let's go in now."
She went straight to the counter and began ordering enough to feed 10 starving children. I paid for our food and we scattered around to find a place to seat. After finding a place to seat, we began chatting away while eating. That is until...

"Sorry Ay08, I have to take this call."
I then slipped away outside of the restaurant while Ay08 enjoyed her KFC.
"Jack, sorry to disturb you."
"It's okay Ha. What's up?"
"Are you coming to Paddington tonight?"
Oh my God, I have completely forgotten about it. I take a very hard look at Ay08. She look puzzled that I was looking at her and waved at me childishly. I waved back and smiled. At that moment, I know Ay08 makes me happy and I want to spend my entire life with her.

"Sorry Ha. I have to break my promise."
"Oh, it's okay. You are with her, right?"
I just kept quiet. I did not what to answer.
"Okay, Jack. I'll see you in Malaysia then."
"Definetely Ha. We'll go for the mamak. Have a nice flight."
"Jack, good luck with her. Take care."
And those are Ha's last words to me. I then walked back towards Ay08's table.

"Ay08, are you done?"
"Here I saved for you some chicken."
"It's okay, just pack it, let's go."
"Where are we going now?"
I just looked at her and smiled.
"Ohhh, another surprise? I like."
She then grabbed my hand as we began walking out from the restaurant. I could feel electricity running through my entire body, that was how excited I was.

My phone rang and I picked it up instantly as I do not want it to disturb my perfect day with Ay08.
"Jack, I am in London."
The voice sounds so familiar. Listening to her voice brings back memories, somehow.
"Who is this?"
"It me, La00."
Sometimes, a perfect day can be ruined with just one phone call. A phone call that came at the most vulnerable moment.

It has been a while... brother

2009-08-16T12:03:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the long delay guys. I was busy with my presentation and report, but now I am back at blogging. The storm has now passed for now, and it is all smooth sailing from here up until...August 25th.

Anyway, sorry for the long delay of the series Why Do We Love. I shall make a point to end season 3 by this September. Other than , I am discontinuing the section I Weep For The Future as it feels to much like writing my thesis. I shall also stop the gaming and movie reviews and shall replace it with a new 'secret' section in the future. Wait for it.

Thanks for sticking by guys. The new episode of Why Do We Love will be up sometime next week. Season 3 Episode 18: The Call .

Season 3 Episode 17: The Decision

2009-07-10T12:02:00.000+01:00

"Hey, Jack. Ready to go?"
"Always ready. Where are we going Ha?"
"Just having lunch nearby. I am quite surprised that you come on Sunday?"
"Oh, why is that?"
"Forgive me for saying but you don't really look like the studious type."
"I am not. I am a genius."
I smiled. She chuckled a bit.

We walked across the tube station. It was a pretty long walk from the campus to town. Along the way, I can see that Ha was very giddy. Was it because of me?
"So, how's it going with your research?", I said served as an ice breaker.
"Pretty bad. Things are messed up beyond belief."
"That's research. And of course, my personal life as well."
She chuckled again. Man, am I on fire today.

After around 20 minutes of walking, we finally reached the place. It was a simple chinese diner, if there is such a thing. We sat down and ordered egg rice with pepper chicken, yes, both of us. The food arrived in an instant, making our small talk time margin to spill into eating time margin.
"You come here every Sunday, Ha?"
"Yup."
There was a moment of awkward silence for a while. Being an expert at tense moment, I can sort of predict what was Ha about to ask next. From the looks of thing, she seems to have a hard time enunciating her question.

"Jack, are you...single?"
Finally, the golden question. At that moment, I came to a cross road. Should I pursue Ay08 or Ha? I do not want Ha to end up in the same fate as An05. I regretted every single day of my life regarding the An05 incident. So, it was time for me to come to terms with my feelings. I would not want this to turn out like the epic tale of La00 and An05. This is the right thing to do.

"Ha, to tell you the truth, I do not know."
She kept quiet looking dazed and confused.
"What I meant to say is Ha, I am single. But I am seeing someone right now, and it has been quite a mindtrip."
Ha looked disappointed.
"So, that's why you do not want to go to the mamak with me," Ha said sadly.
I cannot see Ha being upset as my pasts with An05 began to come to mind. So, I tried comforting her through words.

"Tell you what Ha. Once this is settled, we'll go and have that mamak in Malaysia, regardless of my status quo. Do you like that?"
"Sure thing Jack."
"When are you going back to Malaysia, Ha?"
"Next week."
Then I realized that 2 months time just breezed by like the blowing wind. Have I been so into Ay08 that I have lost track of time?

"What time is your flight?"
"10pm. But I'll be leaving from Paddington at 6pm."
"I'll be at Paddington. I promise."
She smiled.
"And, can I have your Malaysian number Ha, for the mamak in the future?"
She smiled and gave me her number.

"Ha, I like you. You remind me a lot of my previous...complicated relationship. But at this moment, I am focused on someone else. The past had taught me that you have to stay focus on one girl at one time, or else I'll end up hurting everyone in the process. "
Ha just smiled.
"Jack, you are a nice guy. I bet the girl is lucky to have you."
Little did she know that I was going after someone's girlfriend. Sparing her details of my love life, we got up , paid our meals and said goodbye to each other.

I was walking home and then suddenly, my mobile beeps and came in a text. The text reads
"Jack, can we meet up this weekend? It is urgent! Mi07"
What does Mi07 wants with me?

In rare times, you will know that whether the decision made was good or bad almost instantaneously. Did Jack made the right decision? Who knows. But, he will find out the repercussions of his decision sooner than he thinks.

Season 3 Episode 16: The First Kiss

2009-07-03T11:54:00.000+01:00

As usual, I arrived first. It is not that she was late, I was early. I was nervous as usual. With the things that happened last week, I do not even know what we are anymore. Lovers, friends, whatever. The thing I know was that I love her. So there I was, waiting for her at one of the few malls in the UK. Hands sweaty, checked....heart thumping, checked...butterflies in the stomach,checked...conclusion: I was freaking nervous. This is basically my first 'official' date with her.

After a couple of minutes, she arrived. Beautiful and graceful as usual. At that moment, I knew that I need to have her. I MUST have her. So, I greeted her in a most gentleman way ever. I grabbed her hand, bring my mouth to it and kissed it.
"You look beautiful, Ay08."
"Thanks. So, what's the plan for today?"
"Movie and then lunch. I thought of Watching Drag Me To Hell, is that cool?"
She just kept quiet.

Let me explain, Ay08 hate horror films. And, the reason I wanted to watch DMTH was because I love horror films, and DMTH is one of the best. I was just pushing my luck and she should have said no. On the contrary, she nodded and said
"Let's go."
I was surprised. I tried giving her another option.
"Are you sure? We can always watch Hangover instead."
"I am sure Jack. Let's go."
"All right, just do not walk out from the movie halfway through. It kills the mood."
"Sure, do not worry about me. Let's go."

We arrived at the ticketing counter just in the nick of time. I asked for 2 tickets to DMTH and I can see that Ay08 was nervous. We entered towards the dark theater slowly and we sat down somewhere in the middle. Coincidentally, the theater was empty and we were the only ones watching it. Guess everyone was working on 12 noon weekdays. The eerie silence coupled with the pitch black atmosphere really turns the notch up on the scare factor.

When the movie began, the loud along with the out of your seat moments really scared the shit out of me. I was enjoying every second of the movie. I looked to Ay08 to see how she was doing. She was squirming in her seat. Her hands deeply grasped my shirt. Her eyes was closed. She was not having a good time. I cannot stand her suffering like this. Hence, despite how much I love to see more of DMTH, I grabbed Ay08's hand and walked out from the cinema.

"Jack, aren't you enjoying the show?"
"Naa...I am a little frightened. Let's watch Hangover instead," of course I lied in order not to hurt her feelings.
She gazed sharply at me and said
"Liar! You were enjoying it."
"Fine, I LOVE it, but I cannot bear to watch you suffer any longer."
"I am big girl, I can handle it. Are you saying that I cannot handle a little horror film?"
I just smiled and Ay08 look confused.
"I KNOW you can. It is just that you might not ENJOY it, that's all. If you are not having fun, then it is not worth doing together."
Ay08 was flabbergastered upon hearing my answer. She looked so touched that she was about to burst into tears.

Her hands slowly glides across my face and pulled me towards her. She gazed directly into my eyes and I was attracted towards hers. I cannot look away. My hands just automatically move towards her hips. I pulled her towards me as my lips move towards hers. She closed her eyes expecting the kiss. Unlike last time, I proceeded on until our lips locked. For that brief moment, I was content. A little bit guilty but content nevertheless. That was my first kiss ever. I love Ay08 a lot and I have not forsaken the goal of making her my wife.

She grabbed my hand and smiled.
"Where are we going now Ay08?"
"Hangover is still playing. Let's go."

A perfect ending to a great HORROR movie? Or a perfect beginning? You decide.

Review: Killzone 2

2009-06-27T00:25:00.001+01:00

I have no love for Killzone. I did not play it on the PS2 and I think that Sony hailing it as a Halo killer is just an exaggeration. However, my interest pique due to the KZ2 trailer that generated quite a stir at E3 a couple of years back. Sony claimed that the video shown was real-time, but in the end confessed that it was actually pre-rendered and served as a concept video. So, graphically, how did Killzone 2 fare to the pre-rendered trailer shown? Pretty darn close.

You cannot tell which is the game and which is the trailer.

The graphics are marvelous. The character models are detailed, the environments are lush and varied, guns are cool...and the lighting is just orgasmic! Definetely, the best I've seen. Kudos to Guerilla Games to actually meet and exceed the standards set by the pre-rendered videos shown.
Graphics:5/5

If you manage to tear yourself away from the graphics, you will realize that the sound is just as magnificent. They really translate the chaotic nature of war well. The music is Star Wars-ish and feels very epic. The voice acting is great.
However, the scripts are really bad. Talking about sandwiches during war, WTF? Since the script is not the voice actors fault but more of the writers, I am still going to rate the sound as one of the best I have ever heard.
Sounds:5/5

Looks like all the teleportation is finally good for something.

This is a tough one to judge. The gameplay is tight. Vehicular stages add some variety to the gameplay. The bosses are challenging. I love the final boss fight, feels so epic. KZ2 plays really really well.
However, KZ2 lacks innovation. Nothing new has been introduced in KZ2 except for the cover-system in FPS. The guns are not imaginative and the enemies look the same. The storyline is cliched beyond hell.
Gameplay:4/5

The single player campaign lasted for around 10 hours and was deeply satisfying. Besides that, as usual, there is an online mode which I do not really care about. You can replay previous missions to earn better medals.
Longevity:4/5

Redec buttsecking Master Chief!

All in all, KZ2 is engaging and deeply satisfying. The production values are through the roof and it shows. The gameplay and pacing is tight. The only thing it lacks is innovation. KZ2 is truely a visceral experience not to be missed.
Overall:4/5

Season 3 Episode 15: The Proposal

2009-06-21T19:23:00.000+01:00

They say, there are no rules to love and war. Personally, I've only followed one simple rule: know when to stop. Every plan must have an exit strategy, because everyone knows, the battle will never stop regardless of you winning or losing.

It has been a while since I felt this way. It felt like I was on cloud nine. At that instant, I was content. I talked to Ay08 and the time breezed by as if it is not a constant. It felt like old times. Like as if nothing ever happened. However, once the cab stopped, we knew that things were not like old times. So much has changed and yet we both try to cling dearly to the past. We disguised our relationship as 'friends' but deep down, we both knew that it was something much more.

I opened her cab door for her. I took out some of her boxes while she paid the cab driver. After paying, she then helped me to carry all the boxes out. As the cab left, we both stood quietly in front of Ay08's new apartment. From the outside, it looks like a lovely place.
"So Ay08, aren't you letting me in?"
She still stood in awe. She was in a hypnotic state until I gave her a nudge.
"Huh, right, sure Jack."
She opened the main door to her apartment building and we both carried the boxes in. After all the boxes were in, it is time to visit her apartment.

We both carried a box each. The apartment was on the second floor and so we decided to take the stairs while leaving the boxes on the first floor. When we reached the front door, Ay08 gave a knock and then she used the key to open the door. We both entered and we were greeted by her housemate. After giving our introductions, Ay08 and me then proceed to go to Ay08's new room. Ay08 screams in shock as we entered the room. I just smiled as it happened.

The entire room was filled with flowers. There have to be at least 20 bouquets or so.
"Jack, was it you?"
I just smiled.
"How did you do it?"
"I called a couple of mutual friends, they tell me that you are moving here."
I could see that Ay08 was holding back her tears, tears of joy I hope.
"Why would you do this Jack?"
The actual reason I did this was as a goodbye present. But I guess now the main reason has changed.

I held Ay08's hand. I got down on one knee. I turned around and got something out from my knapsack.
"Because...I love you Ay08."
Ay08 looked surprised. I handed her that 'something' that I took out from my knapsack.
"Jack, this rose, it's..."
"It's the same one as the first rose that I gave you."
Ay08 is stunned.
"Let's start over, Ay08."
"But Jack, I have a boyfriend."
I will not be making the same mistake as I did previously. No more. This will not be Dublin all over again.

"I know, that's why I will not be asking for an answer right now."
"What do you mean Jack? I do not understand."
"Just let me know what do you think of us being together in 3 months time. That should give you an ample time to really think about it."
She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up. There were tears in her eyes. Without saying a word, she hugged me.

Looks like someone has not been playing by his own rule. Will it lead to a triumphant victory or a humiliating defeat? Only time will tell.

Season 3 Episode 14: The Flowers

2009-06-14T11:51:00.000+01:00

Life is chaotic. It cannot be defined through neither equations nor statistics. Sure, we can plan a memorable event but normally, the most memorable ones are unplanned for. In the midst of all this chaos that life brings us, emerging from its ashes like a rising phoenix is love. From the chaos emerges a deterministic emotion called love.

We both just stared at each other as if time was frozen. For a split second, I could sense strong emotion emitting from her. At that moment, all I can think about was to kiss her . As I moved in for the kiss, I was surprised that she began closing her eyes, expecting it. However, I chickened out at the last moment. I am not entirely sure why I did that, sometimes I tend to amaze everyone including myself.

I got up from the bed. She looked disappointed, and I do not blame her. In order to just blatantly brush this incident aside, I started to focus on the uncarried boxes.
"Err...I think we should take this down now," I said blushingly.
She got up from the bed and pick a box while I picked another one.
"Hey, Ay08, this is kind of light. Are you sure we did not leave anything behind?"
Suddenly, she rushed to the side of the bed and pulled out a plastic bag. I can barely make out it's contents.
"That's it?"
She nodded. She gave me the plastic bag and I carried it along with the box.
We took a last look at the room, shut the door and went down the steps.

Same as the way up, the way down, is again, full of silence. In order to lighten the mood, I started building random conversation.
"So, what's in this plastic bag anyway? It is sure is very light."
"Oh, it's nothing."
"I bet you have some naughty stuffs in here, don't you?"
"Noo...and eeww, you pervert."
While we were talking, the plastic bag accidentally fell over and the contents were exposed all over the steps. I was shocked and I can see that Ay08 was feeling shy.

"You...you kept this?"
Ay08 just stayed quiet.
I picked up the dried withered flowers. Apparently, Ay08 has a whole bunch of them.
"Are these all mine? Is that the first flower that I gave you?"
She kept quiet.
"Why....why would you still keep these?"
She bent down and started to clear up the mess. I sat down and helped her.
"Because Jack...I.."

Now it was my turn to be quiet. I can sense that there was a huge stress on Ay08's vocal chords that caused her voice to be shaky. She seems to be trembling a little bit. Clearly, she was afraid. The thing that she was about to say must be really tough on her. Hence I pitied her, and being the altruist that I am, I rescued her from her distress.
"Because you love flowers so much, right?"I suggested it to her.
She just kept quiet and looked down.
I smiled at her then proceed to put the flowers back into the plastic. After clearing up, we continued walking down the steps.

I knew what she was going to say, but I could not let her say it. Not now at least. People say that you can never take back your words and I am afraid that she might make a huge mistake by uttering those words now. And at that moment, my love for Ay08 reignited.

Coincidentally, as we reached down the steps the taxi has already arrived. Without hesitation, I helped her moved all of her boxes into the taxi. After around 20 minutes of hardcore moving, she was ready to leave. She walked up to me, looked me directly in the eye, and with a shaky voice, said
"Promise you visit me sometime?"
I turned my back on her and walked back into the house, without saying a single word. I could see she was stunned and hurt. Ay08 then turned around and headed back into the taxi. As the taxi was about to leave, I shouted.
"Ay08, wait!"

She peered through the window and smiled at the sight of me carrying my knapsack. I then went over to the door and entered the taxi.
"You are leaving without me Ay08?"
"But Jack, I do not understand."
"You'll need help carrying those boxes to your apartment."
"How do you know that it is an apartment?"
I just smiled at Ay08. At first, she was taken aback for a second by my smile, but later on, she began smiling back. The look that she had on her face was priceless. So pure, and innocent. That was the day that I fell for her, again. Maybe things would end up differently this time? Fate can sometimes be so cruel.

Review: Resistance 2

2009-06-10T00:23:00.001+01:00

Let me be perfectly clear. I do not like FPS. I was not into the entire Counter Strike faze. And I did not play Resistance as I have never found it interesting. Just so you know, Resistance was hailed as the best launch title for the PS3. Another point is that I am not a huge fan of online gaming, be it deathmatches or even WOW. If you mix those points, you could deduce that this review is going to be biased. So, how did Resistance 2 fare despite all the odds are stacked up against it? Pretty well actually.

The graphics are good, just what to be expected of the PS3. The varied environments are lush and detail. The frame rates are good. The character models are excellent. The weapons animate well. The bosses are huge and LOOKED menacing. Really now, there's nothing much to say.
The only reason that is holding it from obtaining perfection is the lack of polish. There were not many cool effects. Lighting, motion blurring and other 'cool' effects were kept to a minimum.
Graphics:4/5

World War 2 as you remembered it.

The sound was okay. Nothing spectacular. The music does not add or subtract anything from the experience. The voice actor was good but the script was pretty cliche. The guns sounded pretty timid, and I prefer my guns to sound loud and obnoxious. The only reasonable explanation is that they used lasers, and lasers are timid sounding. The environment sounded not chaotic enough to make it believable that you are actually in a warzone. All in all, the sounds are just average.

Sound:3/5

A Chimerian in it's natural habitat.

The obvious thing about this game is that it has awesome weapons. Each weapons has a primary and secondary fire which makes it more versatile. Take the Auger Mark2 for example. The primary fire will allow you to shoot through objects! How crazy is that! Wait, there's more. The secondary fire will allow a temporary barrier to be formed around you. There's a gun that allows you to tag an enemy and then all subsequent shots will be attracted towards the tagged enemy. And the list just goes on. This game does bring innovations to the weaponry.

The main downside is that the storyline sucks and the boss battles are a big letdown. It is too easy and the strategies to beat them are nonexistent. Sure, they LOOK menacing, but are actually wimps. The overall feel of the movement also feels a little too lose for my taste. Plus, there are not even a single vehicular stage.

Gameplay:4/5

LOOKS tough, SOUNDS tough, but it is NOT tough.

The main quest is decent in length. It lasted for around 10 hours, which is decent and I enjoyed every second of it. There is also a co-op mode that can keep you busy for a while, and of course there is an online mode which I did not even bother trying as I do not give a monkey's ass about online. Pretty good replay value.

Longevity:4/5

I like this game. It is not the best FPS I've played, but it's pretty good. Overall, it is actually a good game. I am looking forward to Resistance 3 as the ending of Resistance 2 sets up perfectly for a sequel.

Overall:4/5

Season 3 Episode 13: The Favour

2009-06-08T11:51:00.000+01:00

I waited for Ay08 at the lounge. It was a cold Sunday afternoon. After a couple of minutes, there she came, punctual as usual.
"Morning Ay08."
I greeted her with a smile.
"Very funny old man."
"So shall we get going?"

I followed Ay08 up the steps. The first time I followed her was when she first arrived. I helped to carry all her bags up these steps, and by God, they were the heaviest bag I have ever carried. While we were walking, we did not say a word. Somehow, I knew that she was feeling the same as me, sad. This was the place we met, hence, I guess this is where it ends. A fitting ending to an epic tale. However, I guessed wrong.

We reached Ay08's room. As she opened the door, I was shocked by the amount of bags.
"My God. Did the bags gave birth or something?"
I said jokingly.
"Haha. Stop talking and help me move down the stuff."
"Damn, I think it's gonna take at least 10 trips."
I looked at her. She looked at me, and guilt was written all over her face. Guilt for troubling me that is.
"Guess I better get moving now or else I'll miss dinner."
I said in hope to enlighten the mode. She laughed a bit.
"Jack, thank you so much. "
"Seriously, when you called and asked for a favour, I was hoping for it to involve more intimate activities."
She slapped my arm and we both laughed.

After around 6 trips, I was exhausted. I stayed in her room while she served me some cold orange juice. I remembered the first time I came in here. It was 3 am and we talked all night. I've only known her for a month then, but I can just feel it that she is the girl that's going to change my life forever. Ay08's room brings back a lot of memories for me.

"So Ay08, where are you shifting to anyway?"
"Oh, I am going pretty far from here. St John's Wood. Come and visit me sometime."
"Sure, will do."
"Promise me that I won't become like Mi07?"
I kept quiet. I can't promise her that.
"What do you want from me Ay08? Are we friends or something more?"
"I don't know Jack. I just...want you to continue treating me this way."
Somehow, that got me boiling. It's unfair for me to treat her like the world and yet she would not even acknowledge that she likes me. She should just run back to her boyfriend.
"You can't have everything Ay08."
"Jack, I..."
Suddenly, my phone rang. We paused. I was uncertain whether to pick up the call. I looked at the caller ID and I was shocked out of my pants with a little bit of happiness tingling within.

"Hi Ha, what's up?"
"Hi Jack. Sorry to disturb you. Can we talk now?"
Ay08 was looking towards me wondering who the caller is. I signified the hand gesture 5 minutes to Ay08.
"Sure Ha. Anything?"
"I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight at this mamak stall nearby my house? Teh tarik and roti canai? Real authentic mamak stall."
Wow, I was taken off guard. A date invitation? That's a first.

I took a hard look at Ay08. Am I still going after her? Do I love her?
I don't know. But one thing was certain, she is unfinished business. I guess before I pursue Ha, I should settle things with Ay08. And how will I arrive to this settlement? I don't know, but I'll find out. With that in mind, I replied Ha.
"Sorry, Ha. I am helping a friend move out today. Next time, definitely.
"Okay Jack. Next time. I'll be looking forward to it."
"Me too Ha. Goodbye."
"Bye Jack."

After the conversation, I then turned to Ay08.
"So, 10 more boxes to go, better get moving."
However, I have realized that Ay08 is silent. I guess she was feeling awkward due to my anger outburst. Just like on the way up, we kept quiet all the way down.

After a couple trips, we were finally down with our last 2 boxes. I was so tired and I think Ay08 was tired as well.
"Ay08, you look tired. Can we take a break?"
"Yeah, right. You are the one whose tired."
"What, you wanna go at it? Wanna see who can bring these boxes the fastest?"
"Bring it on Jack."
As I was about to grab one of the boxes, Ay08 tickled my waist. As sort of an impulse, I threw her on the bed. We laughed. I then kept on tickling her and I ended up on top. The situation suddenly became tense. You can cut the tension with a knife. I gazed into her eyes as she gazes into mine. My palms were sweaty, my heart was thumping and my hormones were raging. Suddenly, Ay08 grabbed my hand and whispered into my ear.
"Do not leave me Jack."

Season 3 Episode 12: The Obvious

2009-06-01T22:44:00.000+01:00

I was confused. After yesterday's event, I am not sure what was going on between me and Ay08. Furthermore, I am not sure why did I take the ring back. I sat down in the middle of the college's common area and kept on pondering to the questions that I craved answers to. As I was contemplating, I was broken from my trance by a soft sweet voice.
"Excuse me, can you direct me to the cafeteria?"
I looked up and I saw someone that I thought I knew.
"An05, is that you?"
"Excuse me?"
Then I realized that it was not her. It can't be her, what was I thinking. The person who stood in front of me bared an uncanny resemblance to An05, but is slightly taller and fairer. Besides, how can An05 be in the UK?
"Never mind."

"So, guess you are a Malaysian as well? What's your name? I am Jack", I said while walking her to the cafeteria.
And that's how I met...
"I am Ha. Nice to meet you Jack."
"Likewise. Are you a PhD student?"
"Nope, I am a masters transfer student. Are you a PhD student?"
"Can't you tell?", I said cheekily.
She laughed.
"So, here's the cafeteria. Are you eating lunch over here or having a takeaway?"
"I am not sure yet."
Then, I did a spontaneous invitation, you know like a true player of the game.
"I am eating right now, would you care to join me?"
"Sure."
I opened the door for her. She walked in and I took the blue tray for her.

"So, lamb and chicken is halal, everything else is not, okay?"
"Got it. Ermm...what are you having Jack?"
"Hmmm...I'll go for the Barbeque Salmon."
"All right then, I guess I'll take the same."
She followed me around, all the way to the counter. I even paid for her as a sign of good gesture where she replied with a hearty smile.

I found us a table and we sat down facing each other. We both kept quiet and started eating away.
"Bet you the food tastes terrible, given that you've just came from Malaysia."
She laughs at my joke. That's a good sign.
"Yeah Jack, you are right. How did you know that I just came from Malaysia?"
"You didn't even know the cafeteria. That's a dead give away."
She smiled.
"So Ha, what's the story with you? What are you doing here?"
"I am doing a transfer program in molecular biology. I'll only be here for the next 2 months. "
"I see. I am doing a PhD in Electrical Engineering. 2nd year. How do you like it around here so far?"
"I miss home Jack. How long you've not been back to Malaysia?"
"Around a year plus."
"Don't you miss home? How can you cope?"
I just smiled at her.
"Don't worry Ha, you'll get home soon."

After an hour, we were done eating . Being a good samaritan that I am, I walked her back to her faculty. Upon reaching the steps to her faculty, it's time to say goodbye.
"Goodbye Ha, see you when I see you."
I turned around and walked away.
"Wait, Jack. Can I have your number? Maybe we can have lunch sometime?"
She likes me, a little bit at least. I felt it.
"Sure."
I gave her my number and walked away with a smile. I thought finding someone else that likes me was almost impossible, but there she was, and am I gonna blow Ha over Ay08 who has not come to terms with her feelings and already has a boyfriend? The obvious answer is no. But in life, it is not that obvious.

My phone rang and I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello."
"Hi Jack."
It's Ay08. How unsurprising.
"Sorry about yesterday Jack..."
"No worries."
I wanted to ask her whether the hug meant something. But knowing Ay08, it's just a waste of time because she will never admit to anything. Never.
"This may sound bad Jack, but I need a favour from you."
And that's where it all started. From a favour.

Season 3 Episode 11: The Sequel

2009-05-27T08:17:00.001+01:00

Sometimes, some things should have ended as planned and sequels were not needed. Take Star Wars for example, the original trilogy was awesome, and then came a new trilogy to spoil it all. Or take Terminator for instance. It should have ended at 2, because the third one sucked. Making a sequel is like opening a can of worms,sometimes.

I waited for her at our usual restaurant. This time, she was late. Around half an hour later, she came rushing in. She quickly sat down in front of me.
"Sorry Jack for being late. Have you been waiting for a long time?"
"Quite a while actually. But I have all day," I smiled at her.
She smiled back.
"Just, don't make it a habit, okay Ayo8?"
"Sure...," she said it in a childish tone that made me feel like I want to cuddle her right now.
"So, Jack, let's begin ordering. I am starving."
"I've ordered for us. Nasi Goreng for you, right?"
"You've remembered?"
I just gave her a sheepish smile in order to stray the conversation away from the leading topic of this discussion, which is going to be a nostalgic past.

"Do you remember when we first ate here?", she asked nostalgicly.

Damn it! I was trying to avoid topics like these, but to no avail. Looks like I have to confront it. Everyone knows that honesty will complicate matters, hence I lied.

"Nope. I don't. Enlighten me."

"Liar. I know you do remember. If not, how would you remember my favourite food at this restaurant," she said it playfully, just like every other time.

"Fine. It's our first date. You were wearing a black dress with a black overcoat. Your hair band was grey in colour and you were wearing a gold coloured watch. It was around a month since you got to UK, and you ordered a Nasi Goreng with ABC."

She kept quiet. A huge smile is carved on her face.

"It was a black hairband, Jack."

"No, I am pretty sure it was grey."

"It's black."

"Fine, grey,black, whatever. Oh look the food is here. I am starving. Let's eat."

Thank you. A wonderful save by the arrival of our meals. It's not that I do not want to talk about our nostalgic past, but whenever I talked about it, I tend to get emotional and the thought that I can't be with Ay08 would really frustrate me.

"Jack, have you ever thought about that night?"
Here we go again. Going through nostalgic crap. And I do know well the night that she was referring to.
"Used to...but not anymore. It's okay, it's not your fault. We've already talked about this."
"There's something I want to tell you."
"What is it?"
"I saw you that night."
"What are you talking about? Of course you saw me that night."
"No no...I meant, I saw you on the streets of the City Centre."
I paused. The delicious Kuey Teow which was about to enter my mouth, tempting to be consumed, has been halted. I put down my fork.

Before we take a step forward with the story, let us take a step back. As everyone might recall, I've already told the story, but it was unfinished. This is roughly where it ended.
I fell down to my knees in the middle of the street. I burst into tears. I was annihilated. The mixture of tears and rain almost caused a flood in the streets. I cried and cried till my hearts content. I don't have you, and everything is worthless. Suddenly, the box from my pocket dropped. I picked it up and opened it. There lies the ring, the ring that I was about to ask her for an engagement. I gave a sharp gaze at the ring, full of anger and hatred, then I did the unexpected. I...
I hurled the ring into a nearby drain. There goes my 300 pounds ring. There goes my hope and dreams. There goes my chance of getting Ay08. I rushed back into the apartment while wiping away my tears. To me, that was it, that signifies the end between me and Ay08.

"Jack, are you okay?"
And here I am, 4 months later having dinner with Ay08, the girl that almost killed me.
"Yeah, I am fine."
"Tell me Jack, was that ring for me?"
I kept quiet. I ignored her while enjoying my delicious plate of fried Kuey Teow.
"If I were to say yes to you that night, what would we be now?"
I chose to ignore her. What is she doing rambling about the past. The past is the past, and it should stay buried. It is like opening a can of worms.
"Why are you doing this Ay08?"
"Doing what Jack?", she acted blurly.
"This. Reminiscing about the past. Opening up my healed wound. Why?"
"Jack, I just want to know."
That completely pushed me to the edge.
"Know? Know what? Know that I was so deeply hurt that I my heart was on life support for the past 4 months. Know that I can't forget you when you went back to Malaysia that it almost drove me out of my mind."
"Jack, I didn't mean that..."
"Know what Ay08? Know that I still love you? You want to know that? Is that what you want to know?"
She stayed quiet. I took out a 20, put it on the table and stormed out of the restaurant. I realized that all eyes were upon me, but I could not care less.

Oh man, it's raining. Should have brought an umbrella with me. Despite the rain, I kept on walking until Ay08 shouted my name. I looked back and she was walking towards me.
"Wait Jack, please wait."
I stood there in the rain. I waited for her.
"Sorry about the questions Jack. It's just that..."
She paused. She looked hesitant to continue.
"Just what Ay08?"
"It's just that, sometimes, I kept thinking whether I've made the right choice. Maybe, I should've chosen you instead."
I would never have expected for her to say that. Do I still have hope? At that moment, I wasn't thinking. The next thing I realized was that I was hugging her in the rain.
"Thank you Ay08."
She hugged me back, and we came to a standstill for 10 minutes. She grasped my shirt with her soft hand.
"I miss you, Jack. I miss you a lot."

30 minutes later, I went back to my room, soaking wet of course. I changed and lied down on the bed. I looked to my right, and on top of the table lies a red ring box. How did I get the ring back? Of course, not everything was told that night. Let this be a story for another day.

If you take a look at it from a different perspective, sequels are sometimes better than the original. Sonic 2 is better than Sonic. Killzone 2 is better than Killzone and Resistance 2 is better than Resistance. As I said before, somethings should have ended. But not my relationship with Ay08. This sequel is going to be better than the original. I hope.

We don't know what it is sir...but it's big!

2009-05-20T09:59:00.002+01:00

Dear readers,

First of all, the section Top 5 Fighting Games is done. Therefore, I hope that you guys enjoyed it and have gained some knowledge of the classic fighting games that I hold dear to my heart.

Next, the series Why Do We Love will be starting it's 11th episode sometime next week. For the past few weeks, I have been thinking on what direction would the series would take and now I have decided that the series will be less on the emo side and more on the heart warming side.

On a side note, I have completed Resistance 2. Is it awesome or just another FPS? Wait for the review, coming...whenever I feel like it. Oh yah, Killzone 2 graphics are awesome! Take that X360 bitches! Street Fighter 4 still lives within these veins! Hadouken!

1: Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike

2009-05-19T09:38:00.001+01:00

At first, there was Street Fighter 3. Fans complained because the only returning characters were Ryu and Ken. Then, came 2nd impact. And at the end of the 7th day, 3rd Strike was born. Third Strike added familiar faces such as Chun Li and Akuma to the world of Street Fighter 3 rosters, creating a sense of connection to the fans of Street Fighter 2.

Full of epic win.

3rd Strike was released in 1999, the year when 2D fighting games were considered outdated. The graphics a\were the best I've ever seen. Big sprites, smooth animations, even rivaling Guilty Gear X. With 20 characters, there were sure to be variety. The gameplay was the most complex I've ever came across. With the inclusion of EX Moves, Super Arts, Super Cancel, Parry and Red Parry, beginners could not really get into the game as experts would thrash them. The fighting mechanics were complicated as hell yet deeply satisfying. The round specific soundtracks were memorable and adds a feeling of epicness to the final round.

Emo Guile (Remy) delivering some ass kicking goodness.

That is why, my dear reader, Third Strike is the best fighting game...ever. Truly a masterpiece. I doubt that any fighting game can topple this behemoth, even Street Fighter 4 itself. However, only time will tell.

2: Garou: Mark of The Wolves

2009-05-14T23:51:00.000+01:00

Capcom and SNK have always been rivals as both of them are a staple name in the fighting games arena. The rivalry first started way back with the release of Street Fighter 2. One of the first thousand of clones that tried to emulate SF2 was Fatal Fury. Throughout the years, Fatal Fury became it's own series and diverges away from the SF formula. However, Fatal Fury was always remained in SF2 shadows. Hence, with the release of Street Fighter 3 in 1997, what other SNK games better to become it's rival other than Fatal Fury. Therefore, in 1999, Garou: Mark of The Wolves was released and it was glorious.

This is why Dreamcast was awesome!

GMOTW is a continuation of Fatal Fury 3 or, even more precise, Fatal Fury Real Bout series. Street Fighter 3, please take note, because this is how you do a continuation. Who is this guy that looks like Terry Bogard? Who's the kid that moves like Terry and Geese? Who is the black dude that fights like Ryo? Who are those 2 teens that move like Kim Kap Khwan? Kudos to the character design for tieing in with the characters from the previous games. Love the new Terry Bogard design. Besides the characters, the animation is top notch as well. The gameplay is satisfying and deep, thanks to the T.O.P. system, Breaking and Just Defended.

The new Terry Bogard.

However, the main drawback of the game is that the cast is a bit too small. 14 characters just doesn't cut it back then. Besides that, the game is simply amazing. This definitely deserves a sequel. And that is why Garou: Mark of The Wolves is number 2 on the Top Fighting Games.

Crack Whor...I mean, Crack Shoot!

3: Tekken 3

2009-05-12T00:50:00.000+01:00

Tekken was always considered second fiddle to Virtua Fighter, that is until Tekken 3. Virtua Fighter 3 came out around 1996 and it was dissapointing, hence, Tekken saw this opportunity to carry the torch as the best 3D fighter and came out full force with Tekken 3. And guess what, Tekken 3 rocks!

Sure, Namco dropped the ball with Tekken 4, and is right back on track with Tekken 5, but Tekken 3 is the pinnacle Tekken game in my opinion. The first time I saw Eddie Gordo performing his wicked capoeira moves, I was captivated. And it was interesting that they replaced the main protagonist with Jin Kazama, which is a good move. Tekken 3 is not as technically deep as VF, but it is certainly way more fun. VF3 has better graphics, but would you believe it, back then, graphics weren't everything. Gasp!True Ogre boss battle is unbalanced yet somehow satisfying. So many extra modes were made for the home version. And with a huge character roster 0f nearly 30 characters, nothing can go wrong.

Tekken 3 is the Tekken series to be remembered. It lays the foundation for the future Tekken series. And that is why Tekken 3 is number 3 on my Top Fighting Games.

Review: Street Fighter 4

2009-05-08T22:15:00.002+01:00

I love fighting games in general. More specifically, I love the Street Fighter series. It never gets old to me in spite the frequent rehash. Imagine my excitement when SF 4 was announced. So, how does it fare? And by the way, the fact that SF4 takes place before SF3 just proves the fact that Capcom cannot count. 4 COMES after 3, not BEFORE!

The answer lies in the heart of battle.

At first I was skeptical about the graphics. Street Fighter, for the most part of it, has always used 2D graphics, and I always prefer Street Fighter to be 2D. Their first foray into 3D graphics was the Street Fighter EX Series and look how it turned out. So, at first, I was not too ecstatic from the screenshots that I saw. But truth to be hold, you've got to see it in motion to appreciate it. The animation was awesome. The background although not epic, is lush and jam-packed with stuff. The effects was cool. Fireball looks really nice in this game. Facial expression is over the top which adds more to the 'ouch' factor. Ultra moves are flashy and lengthy which will really rub it in to your opponent. My only complaint is that, eventhough the character models are very detail, most of them look plain ugly. Look at Ryu for God's sake, he is like on steroids or something!
Graphics: 4/5

Kids, do not use steroids.

The sound is pretty average technos with the inclusion of some pretty good tracks in between. The character specific BGM is awesome and it's a shame that you cannot play it during VS Mode. The voices are good and given the ability to choose of either English or Japanese voices or even a combination of both adds an extra layer of feature to the sound department. The announcer is just plain annoying. Too bad there aren't any options to turn the announcer off.
Sound :4/5

The gameplay is what makes SF4 awesome. You have your Focus Attack, Special Moves, EX Moves, Super Moves, Ultra Moves, Cancelling, FADC and Linking. The fighting system is deep and satisfying yet accessible to beginners. The fights are fast, furious and intense. I kind of miss the ability to parry like in SF3, but FA makes a good substitute. It's like a user friendly parry. And using Ultra Moves as a come back maneuver adds a little bit of tension in a match. Superb system, not exactly a step forward from SF3...but nevertheless a step towards the right direction.
Gameplay:5/5

I can't seem to play online due to my shitty connection. However, if you can find a fellow SF4 enthusiast, then most probably you are gamed for life. SF4 will be played for many years to come. Not only that, a huge character roster which consists of 25 characters add a lot of depth and variations. It will take a while for you to find your favorite character and to play well with him/her. The new characters fit well into the SF universe and it's good to see some returning Alpha characters. Gouken has been a long time waiting and did not disappoint. Too bad that there aren't no love for any SF3 characters. I would love to see Dudley, Alex, Yun, Yang, Ibuki and Hugo mixing it up with the SF4 cast. Besides this, there are plethora of modes:survival,practice and training. There are also official artworks and movies to unlock. A word of caution, the movies do not make sense and are animated rather poorly. Watch it at your own risk.
Longevity:5/5

It is not rape if you yell surprise.

I love SF4. It is one of the best fighting games that I've played. Absolutely an early contender for this year's game of the year. An awesome game overall.
Final score:5/5

4: Street Fighter Alpha 3

2009-05-05T19:40:00.000+01:00

Ahh... I miss the Street Fighter Alpha era. It was just after the Street Fighter 2 era, and Capcom still do not want to produce Street Fighter 3 but the fans are getting restless for the wait after the millions of rehash of Street Fighter 2. So what does Capcom do? They proved to everyone that they cannot count to 3 and released an intermediate Street Fighter series known as Street Fighter Alpha.

Street Fighter Alpha 3 is the best in the Alpha series. It came out in 1998 and the home version received a whooping 30+ characters, the largest SF characters ensemble in any game. The gameplay was awesome, with different -isms to choose. It was nostalgic to see the entire Super Turbo cast back again.

And in the home version, there are a lot of other extra modes. Dramatic mode allows for some cooperative battle. World Tour mode is sort of a RPG. With all the extra modes, coupled with superb gameplay, no wonder SFA3 is considered the best Street Fighter by some. And fellow readers, that is why SFA3 is number 4 on the Top Fighting Games.

Manicure?

2009-05-02T13:08:00.001+01:00

Before I proceed, let me clarify this. Wolverine is my favorite superhero. I love him when he enters into rage mode. I've watched all the X-Men movies, and I gotta say this, Hugh Jackman makes an awesome Wolverine, despite of him being too tall to be Wolverine. However, the script in all the X-Men( yes, including X2) does not do Wolverine justice. Wolverine is about being an animal, tearing through flesh in a berserker rage frenzy. So, does the movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine gives an accurate representation of Wolverine? Read on to find out.

Okay bub.

Again, Hugh Jackman makes an awesome Wolverine. It is like he is born to play Wolverine. Suprisingly, Liev Schreiber makes an awesome Sabertooth. His feline features are just perfect for the role of Sabertooth. The opening montage is great, and reminds me a lot of Watchmen.

Suddenly, I have the urge to keep mutton chops and grow my fingernails.

After that, the movie started going downhill. The script is weak and does not make sense. The action scenes are not well choreographed, especially the final fight scene, the fight with Gambit and the Blob. The dialogues are cheesy. They butchered Deadpool, big time. The movie was kind of slow to start but the end feels a bit rushed. Some of the CGI's are done poorly.

Deadpool could do an optic blast?

In conclusion, I was disappointed as I really want to like this move. This movie, is just...average. Hope that the game would be much better than this.

Final Score: 3/5

5: Virtua Fighter 2

2009-04-29T19:47:00.000+01:00

Virtua Fighter, the quintessential of 3D fighters. Those days, 2D figthers with their fireballs and shoryukens ruled the fighting genre. There were a gazillion 2D fighters ( Fighers History, Karnovs Revenge, Power Instinct) and most of them suck except for the Street Fighter series and King of Fighters series. Hence, 3D fighters broke into the domain in 1993 and the game that was leading the charge is Virtua Fighter, followed closely by Tekken.

It was kinda weird staring at fugly graphics with kindergarten quality background, and the most apparent thing is no fireball! At first, I was skeptical on a fighting game without fireball back then, but after a couple of games, it turned out to be quite all right. Hence, gamers received the shift from 2D to 3D with open arms.

Holy shit, wtf is this? From this to...

VF 2 on the other hand, released in 1994, received acclaimed reviews. VF 2 is an eye candy and is technically deep during it's time. Seeing the changes from a blocky character model in VF1 to a smoother one in VF2, causes some rave about texture mapping. That's the power of Model Board 2 bitch! Ahh, those days when number of polygons were everything.

...this! Now, that's the power of texture mapping bitch!

Sega messed up with VF3 and brought the series back on track in VF4 and VF 5. However, in my opinion, VF 2 is Sega's pinnacle VF Series. Although the jumps were floaty , the characters have a personality of a wood and the chicks were not hot, I fell in love with VF 2 back then, and am still in love with it today. The underwater fight with Dural is one of the most memorable battles ever. And that is why VF 2 is number 5 on the Top Fighting Games.

Slappa da bass mon!

2009-04-28T01:57:00.001+01:00

I am a huge fan of How I Met Your Mother, and knowing that Jason Segel is acting in this movie compels me to go and watch it. I've watched his other performance on Forgetting Sarah Marshall and although his performance was average. the movie was good. So, how did I Love You Man fare? Carry on with this super short mini review to find out.

HIMYM is the new Friends!

Firstly, I've gotta give heads up to the story. It is fairly interesting and it tries it's best to capture you but ultimately ended up in a mediocre result. Sure, the acting is decent and the script is all right. The humor, to me, it's not that funny. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is way more humorous. Yelling at random people as a defense mechanism for not picking up your dog shit...ain't that funny to me. Or getting sleeper hold by The Hulk, not that humorous. All right, I gotta give them credit, the sleeper hold part was funny. But the entire movie, in general, the jokes weren't that funny.

Random screamings= Funny, as made famous by Jim Carrey.

Jason Segel's performance...well left not much to be desired. His character, his acting skills...did not really evolved from How I Met Your Mother. To put it bluntly, he did not bring anything new to the table. And thank God that there were not any full frontal nudity this time around.

"Hey, did you see the remote control anywhere?"

So how did the movie fare? Average at best.

Final Score: 3/5

Resistance is Futile!

2009-04-27T14:07:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,
Here are a couple of announcements. Firstly, the series Why Do We Love will be put on hiatus and shall be temporarily replaced with a new section called Top 5 Fighting Games.

Why Do We Love is currently in its 11th episode, and it shall continue until the planned 20th episode. Hence, roughly, the series will be right on track sometime in June.

In the section Top 5 Fighting Games, I shall choose 5 of the best established fighting games that I've played. The rules are that only 1 fighting game per series and the game should be out at least by 5 years to consider that it is established. Hence, sorry Street Fighter 4. Anyway, keep in mind that Street Fighter EX and Street Fighter Alpha are treated as different series. So does Art Of Fighting, Fatal Fury and King of Fighters. Finally, let the games begin... sometime next week that is! :)

Teh best Street Fighter in Za Warudo!Wrryyy!

Oh, by the way, Resistance 2 is awessommme! Die Chimerian bastard,diee!

Season 3 Episode 10: The Pond

2009-04-26T23:53:00.000+01:00

I waited for Ay08 by the staircase. She was not late as I was a couple of minutes early. She came down, dressed in her dark trench coat that she bought from Zara, looking as gorgeous as the night sky.
"Good morning," I greeted her.
"Morning."
"Ready to go the pond?"
She nodded in agreement. How cute! I love it when she nods like a child.

Ay08 wanted to watch the frozen pond at Hyde Park, but she was out of luck as the pond was now not frozen. Regardless of the pond being frozen, the sight of sitting at the bench in front of the pond is truly breathtaking. And of course, I wanted to talk to her about the bad news she mentioned to me yesterday. Hence, on the way to the pond, I opened up the topic.
"So, we need to shift out by when again?"
"By middle of March," she said sulkily.
"Man, that sucks, have you got a place?"
She shakes her head.
"Have you?" she asked me.
"Nope."

We reached our destination and sat down on the bench. She then looked at me with her pretty eyes and nervously asked me.
"Why not we live together?"
"What?", I was shocked.
"Not only us, we'll invite the rest as well."
However, I was still flabbergasted.
"I don't think it's a good idea."
"What is it any different than now?"
"Ay08, now we are living in a Malaysia hostel. We are talking about a house here."
"Why Jack?"
"I might fall in love with you again."
I chuckled and laugh. I took a glance at her and I can see that she was smiling.

We kept quiet and enjoyed the view.
"Beautiful isn't she Ay08?", I said while looking at Ay08 direction.
"Yes, she is."
I was a bit torn. What is this feeling that I am feeling? Is it love...again? Or is it something else? I don't know. I am just confused.

"So Ay08, had fun in Malaysia?"
"Yeah, I ate J Co doughnut. I even went to Chilli's. The mamak in Malaysia is awesome. Breakfast at McD. I love it, Jack."
"Wow, sounds like someone's on a food fantasy."
She smiled.
"So Ayo8, how's your boyfriend?"
Finally, the question that I felt most uncomfortable with. However, I still need to ask her this despite my constant squirming as to show that I've moved on.
"He is fine."
I could sense the heaviness in her voice. Guess she does not really want to talk about it.

She then leaned towards me and whispered in my ear.
"Sorry, Jack. I am very sorry. It was a really tough decision for me," an outburst of guilty conscience from Ay08.
"For what Ay08?"
She kept quiet. It seems that she was hesitant to answer my question.
"For Dublin."
With that answer, the scene of that notorious night began flashing in front of my very eyes.

I like 20% angel, 80% devil

2009-04-25T11:16:00.000+01:00

First of all, I am not a huge fan of cars. Never was, never am and never will be. Next, I am a huge fan of Vin Diesel. I've watched him in Boiler Room, Riddick and XXX, and yeah, he was okay. But he is definitely better than Dwanye Johnson in my book. Third, I've only watched the first 2 of the Fast and Furious series, and I've lost interest since. To me, the first one was the best because of...quite simply put, Vin Diesel. Eventhough I don't really like cars, given that I am a big fan of Vin Diesel, therefore in my opinion, what made the first movie so awesome was Vin Diesel. Imagine my disappointment when he wasn't in the main cast in the 2nd and 3rd Fast Furious movies. I didn't even bother watching the Fast Furious: Tokyo Drift. Dear friends, this is a review of the latest Fast and Furious.

Me during the premier of Fast and Furious.

So, how does the movie fair? Pretty good actually. First, let us talk about the racing scene. The racing scenes are breathtaking, pure awesomenage. A lot of computer enhanced scenes but awesome nonetheless. I know shit about cars so I can't really talk about them. Overall, the racing scenes are extremely well done. My favorite was at the beginning of the film when Vin Diesel avoided a tumbling explosive oil tanker by...get this...driving underneath it! How fake was that...and totally awesome as well!

Muscle car versus Sports car!

Next, the storyline. The storyline is decent, with the friends on the opposite sides of the law and how much are they willing to sacrifice for each other cliche. I guess the plot is just a cookie cutter and the acting is okay. Vin Diesel was just being Vin Diesel... which is a total badass. Besides that, he brings nothing new to the table. Oh yah, he did try to portray sad-boyfirend-emo-who-punches-everything but thank God the shtick died off quickly. Vin Diesel should just stick at doing what he does best, which is being a badass. Paul Walker and the other crews...well, I have no love for them. They are just average at best and are not memorable at all.

Dude, who's the guy on the left? :p

So, what's the verdict? It was a good movie to me, but not great. However, it is the best Fast and Furious and it provides great entertainment value. Not a deep movie but fairly entertaining.

Final score: 3/5

Season 3 Episode 9: The Valentine's Day

2009-04-24T18:32:00.006+01:00

Valentine's Day, or shall we call it, the day of the lovers. Back in Malaysia, I couldn't give a rat's ass regarding V-Day, and here in UK, nothing has changed. However, due to the massive celebration over here, I tend to get a little bit depress. Here is a story of the state of depression.

I thought last year's Valentines Day was bad, but this year takes the cake as the worst Valentines ever. Last year, I've invited the girl that I liked to dinner on V-Day, but she canceled on me last minute hence leading me to have my V-Dinner with my room mate. This year, I am all alone.

There I was, walking along the embassy road, all alone. Normally, Ay08 would accompany me during these walks. But after what happened between us, I would not be expecting us to go on walks anytime soon. And here I am, paying the price on doing the right thing. How do you know whether what you did was the right thing? Easy, the right thing always ends you up in a shittier state.

As I was walking down the long quiet road, the conversation with Ay08 from that day kept playing over and over again in my head. It is like a freaking tape recorder.

Suddenly, my phone rang. I picked it up and Ay08 is on the other end.

"Jack, where are you?"

I was unsure whether to tell her the truth.

"I am at the university. What's up?" A blatant lie obviously.

"Ohh, ermm...are you free tomorrow, want to do something together?"

Basically, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. What is Ay08 thinking? What should I say? Does she still like me? I stood up from the bench thinking of my reply.

"I must do what must be done. I must do the right thing."

"Sorry Ay08, I can't. I have to do some work this Valentine's Day," I said to her with great resolute despite the fact that my heart was full of uncertainties.
"Oh, okay Jack...guess we'll hang out some other time," she said disappointingly. I was moved when I heard her tone. My adamant will was pliant. Deep down inside of my heart, I wanted to say yes. However, the right thing for me to do was to reject her offer as this would spare me all the pain and suffering that I am to experience if I were to travel this path once again.

And that's how I ended up this way.The way that I have always been. My phone rang and surprisingly, it was Ay08.
"Hi Jack, where are you?", she asked as usual.
"On the way back. What's up?"
"I have a very bad news....", she said in a serious tone.
"What is it?", I asked in concern.
Deep down in my heart, I was hoping that she had broken up on Valentine's Day. I mean, what else would happen on Valentine's Day, right? However, sadly, I was far from right.

Brighton Trip

2009-04-23T11:10:00.000+01:00

So, during the Easter Holiday, me and a friend, spontaneously decided to visit Brighton. After reading up on Wikipedia, we were hyped up on going. According to Wiki, Brighton beach is one of the most beautiful beaches in United Kingdom. Furthermore, it is also mentioned that the beach is well known for the Gay, Lesbian and Transvestite community. Ho yeaahh, lesbians. That should be awesomee! If that's not a motivation factor, I don't know what is.

We woke up at 5am and traveled to London Bridge Station to board our train at 7.40 am. Me, being NOT an early bird, am pretty much out of the loop. Lucky for me that my travel partner is attentive in the morning. Keep in mind that this will not be a massive picture dump as I do not own a camera. You read it right, I do not own a camera. All I have is a measly camera phone for blog updates and a handy camcorder for...personal usage. :p

When we first arrived, we got ourself the map of Brigthon and then began to plan our journey. Funny thing is that Brighton sort of reminds me of Dublin. I guess it's because Brighton is more rural as compared to London.

First place that we visited was the beach. Yeah, I was disappointed because I was expecting sandy beaches like in Malaysia but instead what I found was a man made beaches full of rocks. Nevertheless, we enjoyed the view while eating our packed breakfast. The funny thing is that while we were eating, there is some random photographer dude asking our permission to take a photo of us. The feeling was quite awkward though, feels like we were models, lovers or something. Anyhow, the guy thanked us and apparently he works for some local newspaper or something. Whatever.

The Brighton bitc...I mean, beach.

Next place we went to is the shopping district. Sorry that I can't elaborate much on this because I was sleepy, tired and most important of all, uninterested. My travelling partner on the other hand, went on a window shopping frenzy. I just followed her around while she brought me to shops unbeknown to me.

Next stop is the Brighton Pier. Would you believe it, there is a carnival and a casino on the pier. We went for a walk, and obviously the place was jam packed. We checked out the seafood in a cup thingy and I bought lobster in a cup for us. Not too shabby. We went into the games room and the casinos, well...nothing too impressive but it's all right.

Brighton Pier

After that, we checked on the rides. They have a couple of awesome rides, like the "spinning tea cup thingy", or the pendulum but my traveling partner was too scared to get on one of those. Hence, we settled for a game of basketball shooting in the end. The best part while playing the shooting game is that all eyes are on you. For me, I felt like Michael Jordan and managed to hit a basket. My traveling partner on the other hand... well, let's just say that she is Shaq.

The expression on my traveling partner's face when she misses her shot.

Next, we ate our dinner at a fish and chips restaurant. Mind you that there are a gazillion fish and chips restaurant at Brighton and choosing one is a totally random and monumental task. Okay, gazillion is exaggerating, but there should be at least 20, I kid you not. So we just entered this random fish and chips restaurant and began having our dinner. What can I say about the fish and chips? Hmmm...it's fish and chips, how good can it get? I'll take a Nasi Dagang any day of the week.

Now, this is food!

Later on at night, we just went around the city. Nothing much to see as it does not contain any architectural marvel. Then, by around 8.30pm, it's time to head back and we boarded the train. All and all, it's okay... but traveling is not exactly my kind of thing. And, I was disappointed that I did not see any HOT lesbians making out on the beach, just some OLD lesbian couple. There goes my motivaton factor. Damn!

Season 3 Episode 8: The Right Thing

2009-04-15T00:02:00.003+01:00

I waited for Ay08 at the staircase, eagerly. She was not late, it's just that I was a little bit early. In fact, she is rarely late. After around 5 minutes of waiting, finally she came down the steps as graceful as a swan. I was taken aback by the moment. After regaining my inner stability, I then asked her,
"Same place Ay08?"
She nodded in agreement.

Ay08 loves to eat breakfast. To her, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Whenever we went for breakfast, she has this systematic way of eating. She would make sure that the ratio between rice and the side dishes is always fixed. Truly a technicality in which in itself is a sight to behold.

"Jack, thanks."
"For what Ay08?"
"For inviting me to breakfast today. I thought you don't want to be friends anymore."
"Of course I would love for us to remain as friends. I will try my best to make it happen. "
I smiled, and she smiled back.

Upon reaching the restaurant, we sat down and quickly ordered Nasi Lemak. I watched as Ay08 began to eat like an engineer was about to analyze a problem. She meticulously divided her rice , sambal, kacang , cucumber and anchovies into a fixed ratio. I am marveled at its intricacy just as if I saw it for the first time. Ay08, realizing that I wasn't eating began to speak.
"Err, Jack, what are you doing?"
"Sorry, I was just admiring your rice to sambal ratio. It is truly impeccable."
She blushed.
"Stop it, I feel uncomfortable as you watch me eat. Finish your meal old man," she said in a humorous manner.

I finished my food first, as usual. Due to the high level of technicality require to perform the task at hand, Ay08 was still eating. Then suddenly, she spouts out some random nonsense.
"You!"
"What?"
"I wonder, recently it snowed right? Did the pond at Hyde Park freeze?"
"I don't know."
"Wanna go and take a look? I went back to Malaysia so I didn't have the chance to see it."
Actually, deep down in my heart, I wanted to say,"Yes, let's go,". But I didn't. Why? Because I don't want to hurt myself again. I don't want to be where I was 2 months ago. I have changed. Therefore, I said,
"Sorry, not today. Some other day Ay08."

She looked at me with her puppy dog eyes and began to pout. I know she wanted to go to Hyde Park to see the frozen pond. Despite all these, my will is adamant.
"Ay08, if you want to see it, why don't you go by yourself? I can walk you there, but I won't be neither sending you all the way to the pond nor home. Hyde Park is on the way to my college anyway."
"It's okay Jack, but no thanks."
I then walked her home. Throughout, the 15 minutes walk, we stayed quiet. I didn't know what to say to her and she noticed that things are different now. What can I say, this is the right thing to do.

I bid her farewell and embarked on my journey to college. But, along the way, I can't seem to forget about Ay08'S request. So, finally, I've decided,
"Okay, I'll just go to the pond, and if it's frozen, then I'll call Ay08 and invite her to appreciate the sight."
Hence, there I was, doing something stupid again. I took a 20 minutes detour and headed for the pond. Along the way, it can be seen that the tracks were still covered snow, which was a good sign. So, I walked, and on the way, I thought of nothing than the frozen pond and the smile on Ay08's face when she sees it.

After 15 minutes of walking, I have finally reached the destination. I sat down on the bench right in front of it.
"It would be a waste of time for her to come anyway."
The pond was not frozen. And with that, the thought of Ay08's smile vanishes. Guess it is God's way of telling me that we should not be together.

Suddenly, my phone rang. I picked it up and Ay08 is on the other end.
"Jack, where are you?"
I was unsure whether to tell her the truth.
"I am at the university. What's up?" A blatant lie obviously.
"Ohh, ermm...are you free tomorrow, want to do something together?"
Basically, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. What is Ay08 thinking? What should I say? Does she still like me? I stood up from the bench thinking of my reply.
"I must do what must be done. I must do the right thing."

Are You Man Enough To Fight Me?

2009-04-13T22:23:00.002+01:00

So, I've organized my first friendly with Dz. Dz is a Street Fighter and King of Fighter player and has participated in many 2D fighting games tournament. He isn't into any of the 3D fighters, and considered himself as a hardcore 2D fighting purist. I've met him during the IC Tournament, and he was pretty outstanding. At that time I was maining Ken, and so was he. We had time only for 2 matches and it's 1-1.

Tekken who?

Dz's Ken skills are mad awesome. He loves to do a wakeup cross up and is pretty bloody good at pulling off awesome combos. His Ryu's and Akuma's skills are decent as well while his Gen and Zangief are improving termendously. As for the rest of the characters, he is pretty much at an average level.

An accurate depiction of Dz's mad Ken skills.

So basically, here is my report card for the end of the session:

Ryu - I was dissapointed by my lack of skills. I've been practicing Ryu so hard, trying to pull of his Ultra setup, but failed miserably most of the time. We had 10 matches of Ryu vs Ken, and I only won 2 of them. Hence, I need to perfect Ryu's skills before I could consider him to be my main in Street Fighter 4 in order to replace Ken. (Rating: ***)
Ken- Eventhough I wasn't maining him, I managed to beat Dz's Ryu 3-1. I even managed to pull of an Ultra as a reversal for his Shinku, which hit him awesomely, twice. Damnnn, looks like my 3S skills are still intact. Maybe I should still consider Ken as my main? (Rating:*****)
Gouken- Not bad. The fruits of my practice has finally paid of. Eventhough I lost to his Ken and Akuma a couple of times, but I did gave him a run for his money. The awesomest scene is when I hit him with a Shin Shoryuken after a miss Shinryuken. Totally epic. (Rating:****)
Zangief- As I mentioned before, Zangief is a cheap bastard in this game. He is highly overpowered. The only problem is that he is freaking slow. Anyway, Zangief is awesome and carries a high potential to be my next main. (Rating:****)
Abel- Again, I was dissapointed with my Abel. My winning ratio with him is below 50% yet I've practiced so hard with him. I just can't get his fighthing style down. Bah, back to the drawing board for Abel. (Rating:***)
Rufus- Suprisingly good. He has a good mix up game and I've managed to chain into an Ultra at the corner. I guess with Rufus, getting your opponent into a corner is the main stratergy. I like using him...a lot. However, this do not prove that fat people are awesome. Nope, not at all. (Rating:****)
Akuma- Well, what can I say, Akuma is Akuma. Overpowered yet he takes much more damage than any other character. He is one hell of a character and I've been using since the Alpha series. Buffering a Raging Demon from your HK makes you look awesome. (Rating:****)

Potential for a new main?

And here I was, just released a Ryu's guide in setting up Ultra, but then got my ass handed off to me. The irony. Guess I should now make a general guide for Ken.

Ryu is consumed by the Dark Hadou!

You Must Defeat Sheng Long To Stand A Chance!

2009-04-11T18:42:00.000+01:00

Meet Ryu.

Ahh Ryu, the original guy in the karate uniform stereotype leading role. Ryu was awesome back in Street Fighter 1 and now is way awesomer in Street Fighter 4. If you disagree, he can Shoryuken your ass anyday.

Say hello to my little friend.

Ultra is one tough looking SOB and only noobs throw Ultras without setting them up. Today's post shall discuss the various ways of Ryu's Ultra setup. Keep in mind that there aren't any such thing as Ultra cancel. Ultras aren't cancelable unlike Super.
2 main methods of setting up Ultras:

When the opponent crumbles to the floor after being hit by FA
Air juggles

FA that shit!

Of course, we will get the obvious out of the way which is:

FADC(Level3)xxMetsu

Yes, that is the general formula to setup for an Ultra for everyone and falls under category 1). I will only display a minimum hits combo since it is practical in real matches and also do-able using a PS3 controller. Besides, due to the damage scaling in SF4, it is sometimes unwise to do a long ass combos. And yes, I am no expert, just a very good novice.

Keep in mind that FADC-ing moves would take up 2 Super Bars and EX moves would take up 1 Super Bar. So, use it sparingly.

If the opponent is on the ground:

ShoryukenxxFADCxxMetsu
(corner)EX HadoukenxxMetsu
(corner)EX TatsumakixxMetsu

If the opponent is in the air:

LP ShoryukenxxMetsu
J+MPxxMetsu

Of course, one can expand these combos and create a complicated long string involving linking and canceling. For example:

J+HKxxF+HPxxShoryukenxxFADCxxMetsu

It takes more skill to pull it off and gives more damage, however, in order for me to execute the above mentioned combo during a heated match is a bit difficult. One of the flashiest combo that Ryu has is:

J+HKxxC+MKxxEX TatsumakixxEX HadoukenxxMetsu

Anyway, good luck of trying them out. If you'll excuse me, I've got myself some ass to kick. Metsuu Hadouken.

Ryu getting bitch slapped by his sensei.

Easter Holidays=Street Fighter 4 Training!

2009-04-10T11:55:00.002+01:00

So, guess what, Easter Holiday is on and I have 6 days off... plus I've just gotten myself a new PS3 controller and Resistance 2, finally. Get ready for an awesome Street Fighter 4 tournament in the future, and if you are invited, be prepared to get raped and feast your eyes at the sight of:

Akuma had it coming.

Yeah, that's the last thing you'll ever see...The Shin Shoryuken in your face. Although, I haven't mastered Gouken, he is one of the interesting characters of SFIV, not just another shoto. I used to main Ken in Third Strike, but my new favourite is now Ryu. His Ultra Combos setup is way more varied then Ken. The only reason that Ken is worse than Ryu now is because of the reach and setups of his Ultra Combos. I shall not go into a technical discussion on the merits of Ryu and Ken right now, and will leave you guys with a flowchart depicting the best strategies for Ken Masters in Street Fighter 4. (Read up John!)

Flowchart for Scrubs.

Besides indulging myself in SFIV, what else do I have planned for Easter? Hmmm... not much really. Sad, I know. Awesome, TOTALLY!

Season 3 Episode 7: The Nice Guy

2009-04-09T23:15:00.000+01:00

I sat at the lounge looking at the ceiling. In front of me sat Ay08. We both kept quiet. A moment of awkward silence. Ever since she got back from Malaysia, things have gotten weird between us. We were fine during the snowball fight , but now I am just confused. Are we still friends? I don't know, only time will tell.

Suddenly, my phone rang. Thank God, a momentarily burst of noise that breaks the silence. I picked it up and a loud high pitch voice can be heard.
"Jaccckk, do you like....ummm...wanna have dinner?"
I looked at Ay08. I don't know, it just felt weird being asked to dinner by Hh in front of Ay08.
"Sure Hh, where do you wanna eat? Wait a minute...not Khan's, right?"
"What's that, Khan's? Sure, ok bye. See you in 15 minutes"
"Wait...I meant..."
Damn it, she hung up on me. Hh is always so impulsive.

I looked at Ay08 and she looked away, trying to break eye contact. She did not even said a word and I was too confused to open my mouth. Things with us, are so convoluted . This is the end I presumed. The fun times we had, it all boils down to this: an awkward silence.

After enduring almost an hour of silence, finally came Hh. Late and not punctual as usual.
"You are late Hh, very very late."
"Really? Really? I didn't notice," giving off her chipmunk-ish smile.
Yeah right, like that's gonna save her from the fact that she's....awww, so cute. What did she do again?

"Fine, fine. Let's go now, I am starving. Hold on, aren't you wearing a little too thin? It's like 3 degrees out there."
"Really? "
"Okay, right. Whatever. Let's get going."
I looked at Ay08 as I was contemplating whether to invite her or not. Come to think about it, since Hh invited me out and Hh knows Ay08, then Hh should invite her. Following by this analogy, I then make my way out and waited for Hh at the porch.

Out came Hh 15 minutes later with a huge smile on her face. She was looking directly at me with her chipmunk-ish smile. I ignored it and just walked towards Khan's.
"Come on Hh, you're late enough. And I am freaking hungry."
She followed behind me, and still with a huge smile carved on her face.

"Hh, you are freaking me out. Are you in audition for the next Joker or something?", I said jokingly, because everyone knows that I am the next Joker.
"So, I've talked to Ay08, seems like you guys are having problems."
"Really? That's news to me."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Umm..no. I just want to eat now."
Then Hh pulled a long face, a manifestation of her dissatisfaction I presumed.

Hh began sneezing.
"Told you that you are wearing a bit thin."
"Shut up. Let's just go to Khan's. Walk faster."
I then unbuttoned my jacket and put it on her.
She then looked at me and said,
"Now I know why she likes you. You are such a nice guy."

That line, it gave a direct hit to my emotional chord. It's true, I am a nice guy, and treating Ay08 like this, it's out of my character. This pains me. I can't find either logic or reasoning behind this. I then took out my phone and began calling someone.
"What are you doing Jack?"
"Being nice."

The Answer Lies In The Heart Of Battle!

2009-04-04T13:09:00.004+01:00

Dear readers,
Sorry for the long delay. I was about to write Season 3 Episode 7, but then something really important happened. It is imperative that I settle it first before I began writing again. To put it simply, I was addicted to it. Yes my fellow friends, you guessed it right....Street Fighter 4 is upon us.

This entry won't be a review of this awesome game, because, lets face it, everyone knows how awesome it is. I was practicing Shoryuken-->FADC-->MetsuHadoken like it was my religion. And Jack, you might be wondering..."That's a Ryu combo, fool...I thought you are a Ken player?". Sad to say, Ryu is way awesomer than Ken in this game due to the air juggle capabilities of his Ultra.

Ken is awesome as well, but his Ultra's range is horrible. And I can't use Gouken as I am not really familiar with his play style...yet. Anyway, the best new character in this game, IMO, is Abel. He sort of reminds me of Alex (SF3), you know, a grappler + striker character. Zangief is a killer in this game. The characters that I am currently playing are: Ryu, Ken, Akuma, Dan (shotos rulee!), Abel, Zangief and Rufus. I am trying to play as Gouken as he looks pretty awesome.

Oh wait, I just pulled off a HP Shoryuken(2hits)-->FADC-->Shinryuken on a reversal hit with Ken on Hard difficulty, damn, I am awesoommee. So, any match invitation anyone? :)

Keep in mind that the full review of Street Fighter 4 will come as soon as I feel like it. :p Oh yah, and Season 3 Episode 7 will be posted next week...I promise. Hadouken!

Season 3 Episode 6: I Have You

2009-03-01T13:06:00.004Z

It was a dark and gloomy day. The sound of the pattering rain outside of the window reminds me of the cold harsh loneliness that I've been through. But it's all right, because I have you.

My palms were sweaty. My heartbeat thumps faster. I reeked nervousness. I reached into my pocket and took out a red box. I opened the box and looked at the ring one last time. I then took a long deep breath and placed back the ring into the box and then into my pocket.

"All right Jack, game time...", I said to myself in hopes that I would recover my inner balance.

I knocked on the door, gently. After a few minutes, out came Ay08. She looked magnificent, just like an angel. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. I believe that all the 'wrongs' that I've done to get here, is totally worth it, as I am doing the right thing right now. At the end of the day, when everything fades, it doesn't matter because I have you.

"So Jack, ready for dinner?"
"Hold up for a minute there Ay08, I have something to say..."
"What is it?"
I took a deep breath again, and I let it all out. Everything is going to be fine because I have you.
"I love you."
She look shocked beyond words. She squirmed and fidgeted as I said 'love'.
"Leave your boyfriend Ay08, come with me."
An awkward moment of silence filled the room. She looked at me with her pitiful eyes and said..
"Jack, I am sorry, I can't do that."
I was dissapointed. Nevertheless, I was relentless on persuading her.
"But we hugged, held hands..."
"It was my mistake Jack. I am sorry. I was confused."
I felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces when I heard that line. Tears started dripping by the side of my cheeks. Nevertheless, I pursued on.
"We were a great couple. I love you. Don't you love me?"
She kept quiet. Her silence finished me off. I can't control myself. I was broken. Before she even began to reply me, I then ran out from the apartment corridor into the street.

I fell down to my knees in the middle of the street. I bursted into tears. I was annihilated. The mixture of tears and rain almost caused a flood in the streets. I cried and cried till my hearts content. I don't have you, and everything is worthless. Suddenly, the box from my pocket dropped. I picked it up and opened it. There lies the ring, the ring that I was about to ask her for an engagement. I gave a sharp gaze at the ring, full of anger and hatred, then I did the unexpected. I...

Wham!
I was awaken to reality by the force of a snowball hurled towards my good looking face. I looked around and I saw a group of children running around.
"Sorry mister, didn't mean to hit you," one of them said with a huge smile on her face.
I smiled back at them. And as I looked away, I saw something that caught my attention.

Ay08 was in front of me, with a snowball in hand. She smiled at me and said
"Jack, I thought you weren't coming. You told me on the phone..."
"I know...."

And then, there was an awkward moment of silence, again. Just like last time.
"Ay08, I have something to say to you."
"What is it, Jack?", her squinty eyes opened up as she asked me.
This time Jack, it won't happen like last time. This time, it will be different.
"Welcome back, Ay08!", I said to her as I hurled a snowball towards her.

I never had you, never have you and will never have you. Goodbye, my best mistake.

Season 3 Episode 5: The Flash

2009-02-22T14:13:00.006Z

People say that before you die, your whole life flashes right before your very eyes and you'll remember how it all began. I guess this also applies to relationships. Before it ends, you'll think about the beginning.

I slammed the door behind me, but to my dismay, it is not shut. How typical of my apartment door, it can never be shut properly. So, I did what any upstanding young gentleman did, I kicked it. As I kicked it, I slipped on the front step and fell down. Luckily, I did not sustain any serious injuries.
"Bloody snow, makes everything slippery."

As usual I was blaming something else for my shortcomings, in this case it was the snow. I looked around and the sight was truely breathtaking. Everywhere I look there is snow. Magnificent sight. And it struck me. Where I am sitting right now, is the place where it all started.

We just got back from dinner like usual, and I sat outside on the front step.
"Jack, aren't you coming in? It's pretty cold."
"I'll be right there in a sec. I love to just sit here for a while, you know?"
She then came by and sat beside me.
"So, what do you do while you are sitting here? Reminiscing? "
"Nope, I do nothing."

I looked at her, she put on her puzzled and confused look. My heart starts to beat faster and faster like the drums on Expert Mode in Rock Band 2. She looked so beautiful that night. And in the period of knowing her for a couple of months, she's been absolutely nice to me. At that particular moment, I did something I should not have done. I caved in to my emotions. At that time, I thought to myself, this is the person that I was looking for in my entire life.

So, I grabbed her hand, and I stroke it gently. She looked surprised but she reciprocated. I was high as a kite back then. Happier than a junky who just got his fix. This is it I thought. Little did I know, that this will lead to my demise.

I was awaken back to the harsh cold reality by a phone call.
"Hey Ay08, wazz up?"
Stay calm Jack, be cool. You've undergone a month of intensive training just for moments like these.
"Would you like.... to join us for a snowball fight?" she said it hesitantly. There's like a weight in her sentence that was anchoring her down
"Naaa, I'll pass...I need to go to college today. Thanks away."

We ended our conversation there. Cold just like the weather. I guess this is the way it should be, the best course of action to take. I got up from the steps and began walking to college. And while I was walking, I thought to myself how it ended, or how it is going to end.

I guess it is true what they say, before your relationship is completely destroyed, you'll think about how it all started. Oh yah, when I say 'they' I meant movies.

Season 3 Episode 4: The Snow

2009-02-07T05:19:00.005Z

I woke up by the sweet screaming of misery, just like any other day. So swift and precise, with the absence of pain. I looked at that time and started panicking.
"Damn, it's 11, my sup will annihilate my ass."

I ran around like a headless chicken, getting ready of course. In the midst of chaos, I felt a shivering cold. I looked out of the window... and to my delight, there lies a mountain of snow. I was giddy like a fat kid who just got his ice cream fix. I got ready, and ran to the kitchen faster than Bolt.

The sight of a pine(-ish?) tree covered with snow is truly to behold. Such a beauty that will never escape the eyes of any mortal, be it blind or not. I made myself a gigantic cup of coffee. Sipping coffee while admiring such an alluring sight gives me calmness. The calmness that I need and crave. However, to my dismay, I was broken from the enchantment of the stoic trance by the hard cold gnaw of reality.
"Damn, I still need to go to college...or maybe not."

I rushed to my room and checked my email. To my delight...
"Sorry guys, but meeting is canceled due to heavy snow- Sup at 8.32 am."

I was ecstatic. As I was about run into the thick beautiful cold snow , I overheard a voice that caught my ears in the lounge. Out of curiosity, I hailed my steps and went investigating ignoring the phrase, "Curiosity kills the cat". This cat, I believe, is die hard.

As I walked into the lounge, the peculiar voice gets more distinctive. Up until one point,I realized...
"It's Ay08's voice. She's back?"

And flashes of pain started to come back to me. I can feel the stunning visceral experience previously, started melting away, replaced by the throbbing of a bleeding heart. Grotesquely hideous and mangled. Despite all this, I turned to her and said,
"Welcome back Ay08."

And gave her one of my forced fake smile. She looked up to me and smiled back. And I am too familiar with that smile... a synthetic one, just like mine. Trying to break eye contact , I looked outside the window. The snow is getting heavier. I was caught up with the sight of heaps of snow, so white and pure, untainted by any impurities.

I took a glance at Ay08, well, a secret glance that is. There she was, wearing all white, with her white ear phones. My eyes were fixated on her. I could not look away. After a couple of minutes, she realized my sharp stare. Given the history between us, she got a bit hostile.
"What are you looking at Jack? Did I gain weight?"
I wanted to say, "Nothing, and you look fine." You know just like a casual friend. Instead...
"The snow."
And I kept staring at her.
No one told me it is going to be this difficult.

Season 3 Episode 3: The Cure

2009-01-31T17:11:00.002Z

What happens to a broken heart? They say only time will mend a broken heart, but a mended heart is not the same the original. What I am trying to say is, if you move on, what happens to all the pain and sadness? Does it just disappear into thin air? Or will they get buried and lingers somewhere deep down inside of your soul? The question is, how do you really move on? By finding someone new?

For me, to get over someone aka move on, is to change your perspective. I don't mean that you should change your personality, dressing, fashion sense, what I am saying is that you need to reformulate your thoughts. You can't really deny that you never love her, because you did. And you can't really say it was a mistake, because saying it as a mistake shows that you can't really have a grip with reality. What I can say is that, what I wanted before and what I want now, are different.

As I was walking around London town in the middle of night, I felt nostalgic. I always walked with her, hand in hand, at this particular hour. Thoughts of it makes me feel lonely. And it was my mistake for getting physical without any confirmation of the status quo. That was a mistake, but I didn't make a mistake liking her. At that particular time, she is exactly what I wanted, but not anymore.

I can say, without a doubt, that I've moved on. But hey, words are just words. To prove it, she'll be back in a couple of days, then we'll see how will I do. Will I walk the talk or will I relapse? Who knows...

Split Quaternion Nonlinear Adaptive Filter

2009-01-25T16:48:00.002Z

Dudeez, nothing monumental happened during my weekends, and I am loving it. I was relaxing for the entire 2 days... and man, it was awesome. Like they say, a wasted weekend is not a weekend wasted. Anyhow, due to my sadistic nature which I have inherited from the Joker, I shall now enlighten my dear readers on what do I do for a living.

I crack my brains for a living. I come out with new and novel ideas on how to process time domain signals efficiently. Everyone knows the standard algorithm for time domain signal processing was created by Widrow. It is called Least-Mean Square(LMS). His idea has also been extended into the Complex-domain and recently, Quaternion-domain.

First of all, what is a quaternion? AQuaternion is a complex number extension into 4-dimension. It is different from vectors as it forms a division algebra. It was culminated by Hamilton 1843 and due to it's awesomeness, Maxwell used it to prove the 4 Maxwell's Equations. However, due it's complexity, Maxwell also used vectors to prove the laws, and due to the strong support of vectors by Heaviside, vectors are considered the norm for proving the Maxwell's Equations.

Besides that, by adding a nonlinearity to a basic LMS filter, we would end up with a Nonlinear Adaptive Filter. One thing to note is that, the input signals would need to be normalized before being processed as to make sure that nonlinearity in the input signals' domain is analytic. This concept has been extended into Complex-domain recently. If the complex function used is not analytic in C but analytic in R, hence it is called a split-complex. It is obvious that a fully-complex function would outperform any split-complex function.

So, my job is to extend this nonlinear concept into quaternion. And, I've designed a nonlinear filter based on quaternion nonlinearities to process multidimensional signals. The results of the simulations are promising mainly because of the exploitation of relationships between the dimensions. ICASSP 09 has accepted my paper and I am currently contemplating of going. Long story as to why....

If you guys don't understand of a word that I typed, then by God, go and do an autocorrelation or something. Yeah, I am that awesome!

Season 3 Episode 2: The Exit

2009-01-24T14:02:00.003Z

I had a fight with Ay08 recently, for reasons too complicated to explain. However, just for completeness sake, it has something to do with the events of Freedom O'Clock. Anyway, I've managed to rectify the problem, and now, with all the pieces are into place, it is time now to take a bow and exit this charade.

Do I have someone else? Am I going after Na? Both the answers are no. I am just taking a break,no, I am quitting. That's right. I am quitting. I am just so sick and tired of this... gossips, fighting, and distrust. I am gonna exit from this environment. I am going to break free and revert back to good old Jack.

Come to think of it, I started to become this way last August, when An05 got married. I regretted the way I treated An05 and now I try to make it up by treating the girl that I like super-duper nice up to the point of spoiling her, eventhough if the girl doesn't like me. Somehow, by doing so, it makes me feel better... at least that's what I thought. But now I know, it would only lead me to more heart breaks. I will just have to live with this feeling of guilt.

Always take care of your heart first. Cleanse it from all the hatred, pain and suffering deep within, and you'll live a wonderful life. Never wear your heart on your sleeve as you'll bound to get hurt. So now, despite everything seems to be fixed, I know that my relationship with Ay08 is at a point of no return. Things can never go back to things there were. Everything's changed.

So, what will happen to my romantic life? Will it end? I know that it won't because life happens. Life wouldn't quit on you even if you quit on life.

Goodbye Ay08, we will still be friends but I shall maintain my distance. Funny thing, I am back to where I've started 4 years ago. A paradox you might say. What happened back then? It's too troublesome to talk about it. Welcome back Jack, we miss you.

Freedom O'Clock

2009-01-19T04:54:00.005Z

So much have transpired during the weekends until I am not sure what to write about. Hence, I have chosen the most prominent event... the one with the most impact in the coming years. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you, Freedom O'Clock.

After being rejected by Ay08, I was down, really really down. And most of my friends were worried about me and always asked me to cheer up. To them, I would always mentioned that "Don't worry, I'll cheer up by the 19th." When they asked "Why 19?", and I tell them "It's Freedom O'Clock." Actually, I was just messing with them, but I need a cool answer everytime someone asked me the question.

So here I am, 1 day before the 19th, and still feeling like shit. I was just lazing around my room, thinking about the article A New Beginning that I've written. Giving myself hope to court Ay08 again. Suddenly, my mobile rang, and the next thing I know, I was walking on Baker Street going to a poker night.

It was raining, and windy as well. As I was walking all alone, I thought to myself,"WTH am I doing here? I am still in love with Ay08 and doing this wouldn't help me in any way. Besides, I hate poker." But I pressed on. I guess, at that time, I would love to have a chat with Ad, to sort whine, so that I can get another free meal.

So, I arrived at her apartment, all wet and cold. I rang the doorbell, and as I entered, there's Ad sitting on the floor. Sa was surfing on her laptop and Ia was on the sofa, with her boyfriend Pn. I greeted them, and suddenly, there's another voice that greeted me from my right. I looked to my right, and ladies and gentleman, I would like you guys to meet Na(soon to be numbered). The first time when I interacted with her, I knew that there is a potential for love to grow.

As Freedom O'Clock draws near, I was forgetting Ay08 more and more. As of now, I am still in love with her, but I know that the right thing for me to do is to move on. Hence, I am moving on. Goodbye Ay08, I am going to clean my cache now. The sweet memories... to me, I assume as if it never happenned. It's the only way that I can move on. Ay08 is a friend that I will forever cherish.

And hello Na, do you want to know how I got these scars?

Season 3 Episode 1: A New Beginning

2009-01-17T14:01:00.003Z

Reminder: Due to the highly sensitive nature of the post, all names involved shall be posted in its' acronym form. So stop whining!

Whining:
So, you guys might be wondering, where the fuck is the last 2 seasons? To answer your morbid question, it's in my previous blogs, and no, I am not going to give the url. So, if you guys have problems understanding the current situation, just fuck off! I write what I want, and I want what I write! What's that, Freud, I have issues? Doesn't everyone?

Season Recap:
I fell in love with Ay08. That's right, she is the first person that I fell in love with. And I hate myself when I am in love, so vulnerable and so....let's just say that the me now would beat the living shit out of the me in love. Its nauseating. Unfortunately, Ay08 already has a boyfriend. So what a smart intellectual person like me do? It's simple, I push on, and obviously, it ended up in a heart breaking situation for me. The trip to Dublin was the biggest mistake of my life. I wasn't thinking with my head, I was thinking with my heart, and it ended up fucking my life over.

Situation:
Ay08 went back to Malaysia for a while, living me in shambles. Even after the rejection, I am still in love with her. Why? It doesn't matter at this point. I miss her badly, and I felt like calling her everyday, but thank God, I didn't do it. So, basically, she is enjoying her lovely time in Malaysia with her boyfirend while I rot here in this hell hole. Ain't life a bitch?

Justification:
Since I am still adamant being in love with her, I have come up with a plan to win her over. Most of you guys would go like "WTF is this loser thinking? Be a gentleman and move on!", and to this people I send the humble message of "Fuck off!". I have empirical proof( which shan't be disclosed due to privacy reasons) that Ay08 is in love with me. I believe this, and my believe shall not waiver until it comes true, or until I am proven wrong. And I believe that I am better for her than her boyfriend will ever be, quite a monumental statement, but I have the balls to say it. Currently, neither has happenned and hence I am proceeding as planned.

Previous Mistakes:
I am a nice guy( I have references!) and that screwed me over. Previously, I would do anything for Ay08 and she took me for granted. Don't get me wrong, Ay08 is the nicest girl that I've ever met, however, I've pampered her a bit too much and my value of appreciation is not justified. Starting from now, I'll spend less time her, I'll spend more time with my friends and girlfriends( we'll get into this next time). It's not about the quantity, it's about the quality.

I was too jealous. Ay08 loves the attention of fellow guys, and hence spending time with her along with the other 'guys' elicits jealousy on my end. Jealous people aren't cool. Ay08s' boyfriend is never jealous( or at least he didn't show it) and that makes him cool in her eyes. To circumvent this, I just shouldn't spend time with her when she is the only girl in the group. What I don't see wouldn't make me feel jealous. Simple.

Objective:
To make Ay08 realizes that she loves me. I know her better than she does, trust me....

The Plan:
The plan is to make Ay08 remembers me, then I would go missing like the wind. I'll only contact her at random intervals which will leave her thinking, "WTF is this guy doing?". She knows that I love her, and now I want to make her doubt that fact. In order to achieve this, I'll pull off a routine called " How I Wish You Were Here" routine.

This shall increase her missing me, and she will look forward coming back. Hence, knowing Ay08, if she is restless , she would complain a lot. She used to complain to me, but if I am not around, she would complain to her boyfriend, and knowing the maturity level of her boyfriend, he might not be able to console her as well as I do , hence she would feel dissatisfied.

I am not gonna say that she is going to leave her boyfriend over this, as Ay08 wouldn't do that. That is not my objective for now. We need to take one step at a time. It's like a domino effect, at crunch time, all the pieces would come together, and it's time to strike. Now is not the time to strike, now is the setting up period.

Conclusion:
I love Ay08. A lot. And I intend to make her my wife. My intentions are pure, it's just that my methods aren't that sound. But keep in mind, I didn't put down her boyfriend, I am just trying to show her that I am a more viable option compared to her boyfriend. And who knows what the future holds for us, but as for now, at this moment, this is what I want to do. I am no schemer, and I don't really have a solid plan, but as things move along, I'll adapt and try to get as close as possible to the desired outcome which is time varying in nature. It's a miracle if I can get her to be my wife, but a miracle is called a miracle because it never happens.

Introduction To Chaos

2009-01-11T13:56:00.004Z

This is my fourth blog in total. The other 3 just didn't cut it. My 1st one was with Friendster, then came 1up and finally followed by blogdrive. Guess I love the domain jumping lifestyle. I am too awesome until I even transcend domains... or even categories for that matter.
I wouldn't want to bore you guys with my details, so let's cut to the chase. First of all, you guys might be wondering,"WTF is this blog all about?". To tell you the truth, it's about nothing. "Nothing? , you asked? Exactly. Then, something crossed my mind, "I might have something here." So, dear random intermenetzzz readers, for the sake of simplicity and also in order to camouflage the agent of chaos that I am, I shall categorize my post into a few labels:

1) Why Do We Love?
You'll be hearing about this a lot. It is my endeavor of ruinining other people's relationships in order to find my own happiness. Awesome stuffs that would put Casanova and Don Juan's achievements to shame.

2) Funtimes
Sometimes, life fucks you so hard until you wouldn't even know what have transpired. At first it hurts, but later on, the pain numbs down and you'll start to enjoy it. Hence, this legendary label was born. Read how I overanalyzed stuff with my psychotically deranged mind as I write overly emo stuff. It's true, I bleed black.

3) I Weep For The Future
This section shall deal with the work that I do which no one would give a fuck about. If no one one gives a fuck about it, then why would I write about it? Fuck them that's why! Once in a blue moon, I shall give a book review( Robert Greene is teh awezomenezz11!!) and also I will drop the ocassional mind-warping theory of the nonlinearities prediction of real-world data. What the fuck am I talking about? You'll see, I'll show you.

4) Stuff That Makes The Pain Go Away
Entertainment bitch, that's what this section is all about. I'll write reviews of movies, games or any other forms of entertainment that your measly little brain can think of. Life is all about fun for the bong-smoking-retarded-shuffling-money-gambling-assholier-smudgy-brain Generation X, and this section is dedicated for you, assholes.

If you may excuse me, I have to go for an ass kicking. Why? Because I can, that's why!